that she is busy and she cannot come ~ taming of the shrew

So now I'm feeling the pressures of a life which I love, and yet have set aside for so long.

I took a break from theater and dance for an entire year. AN ENTIRE YEAR. That, in itself, is almost a lifetime in my book. I was up to performing/directing/choreographing anywhere from 8-13 shows a year, and up to 5 shows at a time!! Between a 40 hour work week and 40-50 hours of theater, I was never home, and never relaxing.

Things changed this past year. I became happier in a way that I hadn't experienced before. I learned how to s l o w
d
o
w
n which was not necessarily an easy accomplishment. At times I felt sluggish, and lazy, I felt like I wasn't doing enough, but overall, I realized that there are other things that are important in life. Like sleep. Ha. I have never valued that before. Now, I seem to grasp its importance in allowing me to have a better head on my shoulders (for the most part).

I also learned that when you love someone, you truly LOVE spending time with them. And then you actually desire to have spare moments in time. I used to devour the fact that I would race from work to rehearsal, rehearsal to another rehearsal, go home, spend a few hours learning my lines, wake up, do it all over again - day after day after day, leaving no spare time for anything else. Now, I have seen the other side. I kinda like it. Kinda. I mean, I really enjoy spending the time with B, he's been the best thing that's happened to me. I hate it when I have to say "Sorry babe, I can't make it, I have rehearsal" - but on the other hand, sitting on my shoulder, there's this little green worm with a uni-brow twitching his fuzzy little mustache, eeking out an evil laugh while saying: "But Lauren, you LOVE this life!! You love being taken over by your schedule and you delight in its demands. Welcome home...(evil wormish laugh)"

Yeah, that little green worm is probably right. I do enjoy it. Sigh. I think right now I enjoy it because I've been away from it all for a year. Possibly it'll wear off. Who knows. I seem to be happiest when I'm the most busy. Although, this past year has been amazingly lovely in a way I never expected it could. I mean, with all the ups and downs and all the disasters and potholes into which I fell. But this year off, proved to help me, okay FINE, I'll be cliche - GROW, a little.

For now, the things that are going to suffer are my other creative outlets - poetry, writing, READING!! Poor George*!! He's stuck by me these past three days when I've been trying to get through being sick!! He stayed by my side every minute and told me stories. I've got to at least do him the respect of sharing his stories with everyone else. But first, I have SWING! rehearsal tonight and we had the read through for Fat Pig last night, and I found out that I have to be off book in two weeks for Fat Pig, so I have to start working on that immediately!! I have some terrifically long monologues (rants if you will) to learn, so I need to step up my game and get on it!!

And so, it continues...

*George Washington is the reference here. For more understanding, please refer to my other blog, "Trading in the Tudors" for which you will find a link to the left.