that we adjourn this court till further day ~ king henry viii

Yesterday I went to court to sort out the issue with my driver's license.

It took 4 hours. It should have only taken 4 minutes, but the lady on the end of the judge's bench didn't like me. She gave me the LAST number to be called to talk to the DA, after I had been told I would be the 5th person to see the judge. I ended up being the FORTY-SIXTH person to see the judge. When I finally got before him, the judge looked at my paperwork, smiled at me, probably wondering why I was STILL there, and said, well, now that you have the paperwork from your lawyer, just take it to the DMV, get your license, come back in three months and we'll drop the case!! Really? Four hours for THAT?

Needless to say, I got a really good laugh out of the day. Beyond the people who were in and out, looking absolutely cliche to every movie I've ever watched involving red-necked criminals, I also encountered a tasteless individual who, decidedly bored out of his mind, and who was tired of conversing with his friends about baby-mamas, how many credit card frauds he had committed, how many chicks he'd banged and hadn't used a condom, and about the delicious meals one could receive from Taco Bell, he fell asleep in the row behind me, and proceeded to snore...loudly.

I, of course, was attempting to present my best foot forward, dressing up in nice clothes, hair perfectly coiffured, and polished pumps finishing off the outfit, sitting poised in my really uncomfortable seat, when something caught my eye and I guffawed, blatantly out loud, somewhat disrupting the courtroom. All eyes turned to me. I couldn't help it. This gentleman (of sorts), walked into the courtroom and took a seat in the row next to me. In his hands, he was carrying a book titled - (now, this isn't a lie, and I'm not trying to be funny with this one) - How to Rob an Armored Car. As soon as I saw this book, I sputtered and laughed, almost choking on my Orbit : Sweet Mint gum. With wondering eyes upon me, I stifled my laughter to mere shoulder shaking as I cupped my hand over my mouth, keeping the sounds of laughter from escaping.

I mean, wow, really?

And what was his charge you ask? Trespassing of property, and attempted theft.

I'm just sayin'.